Sinking Yet?

So my family buried my cousin last Thursdays day. Was so hard to believe he died. I still keep telling myself he is on a beach some place, laughing at the world, but you never know. This happened for a reason, and who am I to question it.

Last night was hard. All these things just hit me. I lost a great friend, I lost my job, a few of my grades have slipped down to low marks (shame me), I lost my cousin in Iraq, my grandmother is a drunk and wont stop drink til the day she dies, I am rethinking moving, well more like hoping I can get a job in AZ or NY for the time being and then get a flat there, I have a paper on the meaning of life due, I am missing something in my mind. Maybe I am going crazy....you never know.

The other day, I got this email from a friend of mine. It said:

another way to fight the husks is to bring yourself to joy and delight because of the vital spark which burns within you, the good point. think of the true preciousness of being of the seed of israel, of having drawn close to men of truth who can lead you and guide you along the path of truth. this gives you the hope of gaining enduring good. through this joy you can break the husks and obstacles which lurk at every level. your friends is also helped when you fortify yourself and break though the obstacles so as to keep on moving up to the next level. a moment ago your friend was standing on the very level which you have now enterd. so now your friend also has to move on and rise to an even higher level. it is impossible for two people to stand on one level. a person can actually lift his friend up and bring him up higher. [ BY RABI NACHMAN ]

So I have been thinking about it almost non-stop for the past few days. Just wondering what have a missed. Then it hit me.....I am crazy, just kidding, I need to wait for time to tell. But it was right, I need to move to a higher level.

Other than that, life is great. I am getting back at my school work. I am holding my head up, and like all have told me before STAY STRONG. I hope I can do that.