Hello!

It has been forever and a day from the last post. So much has changed in my life. I still live in phoenix. I enjoy it out here. I have changed jobs twice, but the last job was only for a month and a half, that was burying phone lines, itwas a enjoyable job, but the reason why I left was I would stay out working from sun up to sun down. So I said forget it and now I am looking for a job.

I have left the home that Susie and I shared. It was too small and we had differences in the way a home should be run. Now I am able to run my home in the manner I please.

Well I need to run.

Have a good Rosh Hashanah.

Until next time-take care my Friends

This is becoming something I am not sure I want it to be, but thus blog is becoming more like: Hi I am still alive, this is what is happening blah blah blah blah and so. But what ever, no big deal.

So Diver.....let me tell you this: This guy is amazing and I enjoy what we have. That is all I want to say because I don't want to speak too soon or embarrass him. But I will say I love way things are going with him and I.

Work is exciting kinda. I did make one observation, I much have been one ugly duck in Cali because in AZ, I have people asking me out on dates left and right. I decline them, but I am so shocked. It gets old all the comments males make, and I wish I had a better way of dealing with it.

I am home in Cali until Tuesday. My grandmother broke her hip and had to have surgery and plus she had cancer and everyone failed to inform me of this. So I went to go see her. She is doing well.

I have been getting odd bruises all over my body and I have no ideas from what. I have three perfect circles on my leg and the a bruise on my arm. I am shocked they appear from no where.

I love AZ. My mother hates it and says she found a job in Cali for me that I can take in 6 months, but she does not understand I really don't plan on anything. I have a job and I have a place to live, I really don't think I need much help. But both my father and mother think I will take it, even though I just told them I was uninterested. I really just want to let time tell where I will go next. Maybe NY will be my new home next year, or AZ or just back in Cali, I have no worries at the moment. I have been talking with my neighbor and I finally have become more outgoing.

Well my people, take care!

Sinking Yet?

So my family buried my cousin last Thursdays day. Was so hard to believe he died. I still keep telling myself he is on a beach some place, laughing at the world, but you never know. This happened for a reason, and who am I to question it.

Last night was hard. All these things just hit me. I lost a great friend, I lost my job, a few of my grades have slipped down to low marks (shame me), I lost my cousin in Iraq, my grandmother is a drunk and wont stop drink til the day she dies, I am rethinking moving, well more like hoping I can get a job in AZ or NY for the time being and then get a flat there, I have a paper on the meaning of life due, I am missing something in my mind. Maybe I am going crazy....you never know.

The other day, I got this email from a friend of mine. It said:

another way to fight the husks is to bring yourself to joy and delight because of the vital spark which burns within you, the good point. think of the true preciousness of being of the seed of israel, of having drawn close to men of truth who can lead you and guide you along the path of truth. this gives you the hope of gaining enduring good. through this joy you can break the husks and obstacles which lurk at every level. your friends is also helped when you fortify yourself and break though the obstacles so as to keep on moving up to the next level. a moment ago your friend was standing on the very level which you have now enterd. so now your friend also has to move on and rise to an even higher level. it is impossible for two people to stand on one level. a person can actually lift his friend up and bring him up higher. [ BY RABI NACHMAN ]

So I have been thinking about it almost non-stop for the past few days. Just wondering what have a missed. Then it hit me.....I am crazy, just kidding, I need to wait for time to tell. But it was right, I need to move to a higher level.

Other than that, life is great. I am getting back at my school work. I am holding my head up, and like all have told me before STAY STRONG. I hope I can do that.

La vida es el coger excelente

And it sure is.....

Apart from feeling a little lonely and cut off from the world, life is excellent, hence the title of this post......

Nothing new has happened. It has been really easy going lately. I have been keeping my head up, praying, and doing all I know how to do to keep myself busy.
School has been okay, nothing big to announce there. I am getting good grades.....kind of. One of my online classes, I forget about. It is the second time I forgot to look at it, and do the assignments. Don't ask how I do it, but I get all my work done on the other online class, but just seem to forget that other class is there. I am hoping I do not fail the class. Other than that, lectures have gone great.

Work.....ah yes, the favorite thing to hate. I am still looking for another job, beside the one I have now. Paper work is not my favorite thing to do. It sucks, but at $11 an hour, I will keep it for now.

Have a great week everyone

The Random Thoughts of Perez

• Well, I got a job last week, and I am waiting for approval of another job in retail. I hope I get it, but if not, it is all good still.
• Joshua is making it real easy for me to get over him. He will not leave me alone. He keeps harassing me. So there is bad news there
• Have plans to travel in 2008. My hopes are to travel to NY in January and then India in July. I am excited.
• I am hoping Susie and I can get a flat in AZ in January. I have to try and get a job out there as well, transfer college. All that fun stuff
• I was thinking about the phrase "stay strong". It has been said to me so often these past few weeks, I started to wonder if I am really strong, or am I blocking out everything. Then it hit me....oh boy did it hit me. My mind state went from wondering if I can live without Josh, and then it hit me.....I went off on myself, yelling at me for being so stupid and blind. That fool hurt me so much and I wanted to stay with that? What was wrong with me, I asked myself. If I was strong, I would have left him so long ago. I was happy because I can tell myself I am happy, and I will be happy, but not anymore. I come to the clear realization that I should not live under any man. I am a person, not property.
• Lectures have been going great. I have started to fall behind with all the stuff that has been going on, but I will keep moving
• Stay strong perez-mental note....

My Trip To AZ

So I got up and left, without a word to anyone.....Stupid move? Yeah, maybe you could say that, but it all worked out in the end. I went out there to clear my head, and sure I cleared it well and thought about life without Joshua by my side. I wanted to cry at the thought of him not being there, but I try to be as strong as I can.

I didn't do much, just hung out and got drunk with Suz. It was good to let go of all the stress and have fun and well, act like a stupid drunk person. I would have pictures to show, but while I was sitting on the ground, I took the camera from Suz and dropped it. So yeah, now I have no photos and I have to find a way to fix it.

On a sad note, I lost my job. But I am happy about that, because I never really like the job and knew it was time to move on. So now I get to go to lectures on Friday and then spend the rest of the time looking for a new job.

So that was my little trip. I had a good time. I think I have a better plan in my head and need to go for it. So wish me luck....

The Weekend in Review

Shabbat was cool. I just tried to finished work for my lectures. I got most of it done. Other than that, Shabbat pretty good. Just got the well needed rest, then stayed up all night on Saturday.

Yes, as stupid and crazy as it sounds, I stayed away most the night. I talked with a good friend of mine in NY, and I turned off the lights and feel asleep at 5 am of about an hour. Yeah......I know that is bad, but hey what can I say.......

Sunday was just whatever. I went a did little shopping for coffee and yarn. My two favorite things in the world......Oh yeah.....Life is good. I think last night was the best sleep I have had. Maybe I need to stay up all night more.....mmmm.....No way, I would be too tired.

But I am off and running. Got to make some coffee and then I will be at work. Have good day....