Ummm...

Well I am still alive...

Work is going great. I have meet a lot of people and have friends. I have a lot of people who look out fir me there as well. It is fun to work with the people I work with. Last week I work almost 60 hours, so that wasn't too bad.

I may be getting my own apartment, it just isn't working out with Susie. Her and her boyfriend are just too messy of people for me to live with. I go nuts with all the dishes they leave in the sink and the fact this guy doesn't have a job, but yet he sits in the room all day and does nothing. I am done with that.

No other real big news. Life is peaceful for me and I am making it. I hope to get into the college soon.

This is becoming something I am not sure I want it to be, but thus blog is becoming more like: Hi I am still alive, this is what is happening blah blah blah blah and so. But what ever, no big deal.

So Diver.....let me tell you this: This guy is amazing and I enjoy what we have. That is all I want to say because I don't want to speak too soon or embarrass him. But I will say I love way things are going with him and I.

Work is exciting kinda. I did make one observation, I much have been one ugly duck in Cali because in AZ, I have people asking me out on dates left and right. I decline them, but I am so shocked. It gets old all the comments males make, and I wish I had a better way of dealing with it.

I am home in Cali until Tuesday. My grandmother broke her hip and had to have surgery and plus she had cancer and everyone failed to inform me of this. So I went to go see her. She is doing well.

I have been getting odd bruises all over my body and I have no ideas from what. I have three perfect circles on my leg and the a bruise on my arm. I am shocked they appear from no where.

I love AZ. My mother hates it and says she found a job in Cali for me that I can take in 6 months, but she does not understand I really don't plan on anything. I have a job and I have a place to live, I really don't think I need much help. But both my father and mother think I will take it, even though I just told them I was uninterested. I really just want to let time tell where I will go next. Maybe NY will be my new home next year, or AZ or just back in Cali, I have no worries at the moment. I have been talking with my neighbor and I finally have become more outgoing.

Well my people, take care!

So there is no reason to bore with details of the move. So I will do it in short. I up and left my fathers house, took my car and packed it with all my stuff. My mum was so upset about it and my father was happy for me but disliked the idea.

So that Friday afternoon, when we signed the paper work for the flat, I got a phone call from a place I applied to over the Internet and I got the job on Wednesday of the next week, and I have been working ever since. I work at a gas station. It is easy and keeps me busy, but I am glad I got a job so fast.

So enough of that.

Other than that, life is great. I have started talking with a new guy. I will call him Diver, because he likes diving. He has been trying to talk me into going diving with him. Anyways, we are not dating by any means, but we just talk. Besides, he lives in NY. There isn't much to say about it, but we hit it off really well. The first time we talked, we talked until early in the morning.

Well that is the only update I can give. There is not much else to say. Take care.

Sinking Yet?

So my family buried my cousin last Thursdays day. Was so hard to believe he died. I still keep telling myself he is on a beach some place, laughing at the world, but you never know. This happened for a reason, and who am I to question it.

Last night was hard. All these things just hit me. I lost a great friend, I lost my job, a few of my grades have slipped down to low marks (shame me), I lost my cousin in Iraq, my grandmother is a drunk and wont stop drink til the day she dies, I am rethinking moving, well more like hoping I can get a job in AZ or NY for the time being and then get a flat there, I have a paper on the meaning of life due, I am missing something in my mind. Maybe I am going crazy....you never know.

The other day, I got this email from a friend of mine. It said:

another way to fight the husks is to bring yourself to joy and delight because of the vital spark which burns within you, the good point. think of the true preciousness of being of the seed of israel, of having drawn close to men of truth who can lead you and guide you along the path of truth. this gives you the hope of gaining enduring good. through this joy you can break the husks and obstacles which lurk at every level. your friends is also helped when you fortify yourself and break though the obstacles so as to keep on moving up to the next level. a moment ago your friend was standing on the very level which you have now enterd. so now your friend also has to move on and rise to an even higher level. it is impossible for two people to stand on one level. a person can actually lift his friend up and bring him up higher. [ BY RABI NACHMAN ]

So I have been thinking about it almost non-stop for the past few days. Just wondering what have a missed. Then it hit me.....I am crazy, just kidding, I need to wait for time to tell. But it was right, I need to move to a higher level.

Other than that, life is great. I am getting back at my school work. I am holding my head up, and like all have told me before STAY STRONG. I hope I can do that.

La vida es el coger excelente

And it sure is.....

Apart from feeling a little lonely and cut off from the world, life is excellent, hence the title of this post......

Nothing new has happened. It has been really easy going lately. I have been keeping my head up, praying, and doing all I know how to do to keep myself busy.
School has been okay, nothing big to announce there. I am getting good grades.....kind of. One of my online classes, I forget about. It is the second time I forgot to look at it, and do the assignments. Don't ask how I do it, but I get all my work done on the other online class, but just seem to forget that other class is there. I am hoping I do not fail the class. Other than that, lectures have gone great.

Work.....ah yes, the favorite thing to hate. I am still looking for another job, beside the one I have now. Paper work is not my favorite thing to do. It sucks, but at $11 an hour, I will keep it for now.

Have a great week everyone

The Random Thoughts of Perez

• Well, I got a job last week, and I am waiting for approval of another job in retail. I hope I get it, but if not, it is all good still.
• Joshua is making it real easy for me to get over him. He will not leave me alone. He keeps harassing me. So there is bad news there
• Have plans to travel in 2008. My hopes are to travel to NY in January and then India in July. I am excited.
• I am hoping Susie and I can get a flat in AZ in January. I have to try and get a job out there as well, transfer college. All that fun stuff
• I was thinking about the phrase "stay strong". It has been said to me so often these past few weeks, I started to wonder if I am really strong, or am I blocking out everything. Then it hit me....oh boy did it hit me. My mind state went from wondering if I can live without Josh, and then it hit me.....I went off on myself, yelling at me for being so stupid and blind. That fool hurt me so much and I wanted to stay with that? What was wrong with me, I asked myself. If I was strong, I would have left him so long ago. I was happy because I can tell myself I am happy, and I will be happy, but not anymore. I come to the clear realization that I should not live under any man. I am a person, not property.
• Lectures have been going great. I have started to fall behind with all the stuff that has been going on, but I will keep moving
• Stay strong perez-mental note....