The Random Thoughts of Perez

• Well, I got a job last week, and I am waiting for approval of another job in retail. I hope I get it, but if not, it is all good still.
• Joshua is making it real easy for me to get over him. He will not leave me alone. He keeps harassing me. So there is bad news there
• Have plans to travel in 2008. My hopes are to travel to NY in January and then India in July. I am excited.
• I am hoping Susie and I can get a flat in AZ in January. I have to try and get a job out there as well, transfer college. All that fun stuff
• I was thinking about the phrase "stay strong". It has been said to me so often these past few weeks, I started to wonder if I am really strong, or am I blocking out everything. Then it hit me....oh boy did it hit me. My mind state went from wondering if I can live without Josh, and then it hit me.....I went off on myself, yelling at me for being so stupid and blind. That fool hurt me so much and I wanted to stay with that? What was wrong with me, I asked myself. If I was strong, I would have left him so long ago. I was happy because I can tell myself I am happy, and I will be happy, but not anymore. I come to the clear realization that I should not live under any man. I am a person, not property.
• Lectures have been going great. I have started to fall behind with all the stuff that has been going on, but I will keep moving
• Stay strong perez-mental note....

My Trip To AZ

So I got up and left, without a word to anyone.....Stupid move? Yeah, maybe you could say that, but it all worked out in the end. I went out there to clear my head, and sure I cleared it well and thought about life without Joshua by my side. I wanted to cry at the thought of him not being there, but I try to be as strong as I can.

I didn't do much, just hung out and got drunk with Suz. It was good to let go of all the stress and have fun and well, act like a stupid drunk person. I would have pictures to show, but while I was sitting on the ground, I took the camera from Suz and dropped it. So yeah, now I have no photos and I have to find a way to fix it.

On a sad note, I lost my job. But I am happy about that, because I never really like the job and knew it was time to move on. So now I get to go to lectures on Friday and then spend the rest of the time looking for a new job.

So that was my little trip. I had a good time. I think I have a better plan in my head and need to go for it. So wish me luck....